Trust is not easily earned, and too easily lost. Regaining it is even harder.

Our kids first learn to trust us (or not) when we feed them, clean them, dress them, play with them. We are their ‘gods’ for a time being. When we screw up, as we all will do in their lifetimes, it is best to minimize it as best we can by our choices and the reasons why we made them.

This dad wanted to ‘help’ his son ‘through’ his fear.

Having been thrown into 9 feet of water at age 5 years old in order to teach me what I don’t know (I ready knew I didn’t know how to swim!) and to teach me that I have inner strength (I really don’t think that the arrogant, smug, belittling teacher intended this lesson), I learned to NOT trust this swim ‘teacher’ and went elsewhere for lessons.

Yes, I was also angry with my mom for her poor choice of teachers for me. Believe me, having been an irrate 5 year old and having been the parent of irrate 5 year olds at one time or other, a child can ‘teach’ an adult a lot about many things!

Sadly, with the no-secrets-technology of today, this dad is learning in a big way that really, really hurts his whole family. Judgments are being made on both sides of the story.

My feelings: our home and our parents are our haven of trust and love. We ought not rush our kids to actions for OUR needs, OUR fears, OUR agendas whatever they are.

I wish healing for this family, and that others who rush to judge for or against what occurred take some ‘time out’ themselves in front a mirror. What mistakes have you made for which you still see repercussions and continue to make excuses for as ‘not my fault’? What language do you use around your kids? What insecurities or bravado do you present to your kids? What are you WILLING to do to model to your kids and not just tell them to do when you are not or are unable?

Our kids, regardless of what you may think, are not OUR virtual selves!

AND LISTEN to your kids, OBSERVE THEM! There is so much more to communication than just words. Build trust and you will not be sorry. Show them you are there for them and they will be there for you.